Today was a pretty normal day, nothing happened today that was anymore stressful than any other day with a 16 month old and an 11 week old. However, I was feeling kinda stressed out, or maybe a better way to describe it is tense. I'm not really sure why, I guess maybe I am nervous about a few things going on next week.
First off, we have a followup appointment with the Pediatric Nephrologist for E. I haven't discussed this at all on here because I'm trying to take the "don't worry until you have to" approach. (It's not working that well). When E was 4 weeks old I took her to the doctor because I thought she had reflux. The doctor ordered an ultrasound to rule out pyloric stenosis. The ultrasound was negative however they did notice her right kidney was enlarged. They sent us to the local Children's hospital to have a renal ultrasound and see a pediatric nephrologist. Her kidney is the correct shape and size, but there is some internal swelling. The doctor thinks she will outgrow this by 6 months but they want to monitor it. If the swelling does not increase they will just continue to monitor it, but if it does increase she may have to have surgery. I'm nervous about our next appointment and hoping that the swelling has hopefully gone down, or at least stayed the same. The other things aren't health related, but still nerve racking. I have an interview for a job and I'm desperately hoping to change my employment status. Even though I do really want to work and we need me to work, thinking about all the changes that come with that freak me out.
Anyway, I digress, back to my day. I knew I had some errands to run and I really hate getting the kids in and out of the car over and over, add me already being tense to the situation doesn't help. I seriously can't wait until summertime so I don't have to deal with coats, hats & mittens. So we're all loaded up and on our way, S is chatting with monkey and E is fast asleep (for once, I swear that girl HATES the car). I'm flipping channels on my XM radio and I come across the 80's on 8 channel. I Saw You Standing There by Tiffany was playing. Oh my, I haven't heard this song in forever. I crank it up and start singing along. In just a few verses all my tension was gone. S was dancing (bouncing up and down in his car seat) and I was singing and we were having a blast. The songs just kept getting better and better. Talk Dirty to Me by Poison, Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar, Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. I was in 80's heaven. All I needed were some french rolled acid washed jeans and my bangs teased to resemble a brick wall (and I am proud to admit I had both of these in the 80's, not proud enough to share photos though).
Sometimes I forgot how therapeutic music can be. No matter what my mood, or what kind of music it is, it always helps. Music is the background of so many experiences and occasions. I was a band-geek (as my husband calls me) so I was raised to love and appreciate music. I want S & E to love and appreciate it also. I can't make it through any version of The Star Spangled Banner without shedding a tear. Music moves me, it makes me happy, it makes me proud and it makes me sing, off key, at the top of my lungs!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
My Interior Decorator...
Earlier today I was feeding E a bottle and S was playing quietly in his room, so I thought. This is what was actually happening...
S and his accomplice Monkey decided they needed to "decorate" E's floor. Good thing he is so darn cute, how can you possibly get upset with a face like that? However, I don't feel the need to fold E's clothes over and over so her door will remain closed until we have drawer locks.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Pros and Cons
It's not uncommon for strangers to stop me in a store and ask how old S & E are. When I answer, "they are 13.5 months apart" they look at me like I'm crazy and say "wow, you have your hands full" or "wow, you sure are busy", some form of "what the heck were you thinking?" I just nod my head and say "yes it's hard", I don't see the need to explain to them that E was not a planned pregnancy and that we were using birth control. It's really none of their business, and most people don't really care anyway.
The other day a friend asked what it is like to have 2 under 2. This got me thinking about the pros and cons of baby bunching. I do find it's easier to think of the cons at this point because they are both so young, but I'm sure in 2 years it will be much easier to think of the pros. So here it is...my top 3 pros and cons of having 2 babies under 2. This is my own personal opinion, other's may feel entirely different.
The Con's
1. My first major con is being pregnant for so long. Most women complain about being pregnant for 9 months. Just imagine what it is like to be pregnant 18 out of 24 months. My hormones were not back to normal from my pregnancy with S before I got pregnant with E. I think, because of this, I had a moderate case of PPD after E was born. It's been 2.5 months now and I am finally starting to get back to normal mentally. My body, on the other hand, is totally out of control.
2. My second con would be the day-to-day challenges. S is only 15 months old, yes he is walking and playing by himself somewhat, but he is still very dependant. I think if he was older, potty trained, eating with utensils, etc. it would be easier. At his age now he doesn't understand that mommy can't drop everything to attend to his needs, like I could before E was born. He is also very rough with her. He doesn't understand that he needs to be gentle and that he will hurt her if he crawls over her, or drops toys on her, or hits her in the head. It is impossible to leave him alone with her because of what he might do and that makes everything, even going to the bathroom, more difficult.
3. My third con is the challenge of getting them in and out of the car. When D is home things are a lot easier, but he is gone a lot so I do it by myself most of the time. Like I said above, S is walking, but he isn't at a point where I can hold his hand and he will follow along nicely. I still have to carry him to and from the car and it's not possible for me to carry a 25 pound 15 month old in one arm and a 14 pound 2.5 month old in the infant carrier at the same time. So I find myself doing things in steps. Start the car, bundle up both kids, carry S out to the car and buckle him into his car seat, then run back into the house and grab E in her carrier and put her in the car, then run back in the house and grab my diaper bag, lock the door, etc. In the time it takes me to put S in the car E is screaming because her binky fell out, or her hat is over her eyes, or she just HATES being in her carrier. It stresses me out every time we go anywhere.
The Pros.
1. The best part about having 2 under 2 is the cuddling. S got to a point around 6ish months where he didn't want to sit and cuddle anymore. He wanted to crawl and play and be active (and honestly, I don't think he has stopped moving since). I missed that stage so much, but didn't have to go long without having it back. E loves to cuddle, she snuggles her face and body into my chest and smiles and coos and falls asleep. It's just delightful and I'm hoping she won't grow out of it anytime soon.
2. Having 2 under 2 means you have A LOT of stuff. Swing, exersaucer, bumbo seat, bottles, highchair, etc. Having them so close together means I can get rid of all of that stuff once E is done using it. I don't have to pack it up and save it for years for the next baby. I am already planning the garage sale in my head...LOL
3. When they are a few years older they will be best friends. I love the thought that they will always have a built in playmate no matter where we are, neither of them will be lonely. They will be at the same stages of their lives and will want to do the same things. I can only imagine how difficult it is for families that have kids several years apart. The older child doesn't want to do what the younger child does because it's too "babyish" and vice versa. We should never have that problem. I assume we will have to deal with S not wanting to do what E wants to do because it's too "girly" but when that happens daddy and S can have some boy time.
These are my pros and cons now, a month ago they may have been different and a month from now they may change. I can say that things got much easier once E started sleeping 9 hours at night and as her schedule gets more consistent. I didn't plan to have kids so close together (my husband wanted them this close but he was hoping for 2 boys that could play on the same football team), and I don't think I would have choosen to have kids so close together but I honestly wouldn't change a thing about it now.
The other day a friend asked what it is like to have 2 under 2. This got me thinking about the pros and cons of baby bunching. I do find it's easier to think of the cons at this point because they are both so young, but I'm sure in 2 years it will be much easier to think of the pros. So here it is...my top 3 pros and cons of having 2 babies under 2. This is my own personal opinion, other's may feel entirely different.
The Con's
1. My first major con is being pregnant for so long. Most women complain about being pregnant for 9 months. Just imagine what it is like to be pregnant 18 out of 24 months. My hormones were not back to normal from my pregnancy with S before I got pregnant with E. I think, because of this, I had a moderate case of PPD after E was born. It's been 2.5 months now and I am finally starting to get back to normal mentally. My body, on the other hand, is totally out of control.
2. My second con would be the day-to-day challenges. S is only 15 months old, yes he is walking and playing by himself somewhat, but he is still very dependant. I think if he was older, potty trained, eating with utensils, etc. it would be easier. At his age now he doesn't understand that mommy can't drop everything to attend to his needs, like I could before E was born. He is also very rough with her. He doesn't understand that he needs to be gentle and that he will hurt her if he crawls over her, or drops toys on her, or hits her in the head. It is impossible to leave him alone with her because of what he might do and that makes everything, even going to the bathroom, more difficult.
3. My third con is the challenge of getting them in and out of the car. When D is home things are a lot easier, but he is gone a lot so I do it by myself most of the time. Like I said above, S is walking, but he isn't at a point where I can hold his hand and he will follow along nicely. I still have to carry him to and from the car and it's not possible for me to carry a 25 pound 15 month old in one arm and a 14 pound 2.5 month old in the infant carrier at the same time. So I find myself doing things in steps. Start the car, bundle up both kids, carry S out to the car and buckle him into his car seat, then run back into the house and grab E in her carrier and put her in the car, then run back in the house and grab my diaper bag, lock the door, etc. In the time it takes me to put S in the car E is screaming because her binky fell out, or her hat is over her eyes, or she just HATES being in her carrier. It stresses me out every time we go anywhere.
The Pros.
1. The best part about having 2 under 2 is the cuddling. S got to a point around 6ish months where he didn't want to sit and cuddle anymore. He wanted to crawl and play and be active (and honestly, I don't think he has stopped moving since). I missed that stage so much, but didn't have to go long without having it back. E loves to cuddle, she snuggles her face and body into my chest and smiles and coos and falls asleep. It's just delightful and I'm hoping she won't grow out of it anytime soon.
2. Having 2 under 2 means you have A LOT of stuff. Swing, exersaucer, bumbo seat, bottles, highchair, etc. Having them so close together means I can get rid of all of that stuff once E is done using it. I don't have to pack it up and save it for years for the next baby. I am already planning the garage sale in my head...LOL
3. When they are a few years older they will be best friends. I love the thought that they will always have a built in playmate no matter where we are, neither of them will be lonely. They will be at the same stages of their lives and will want to do the same things. I can only imagine how difficult it is for families that have kids several years apart. The older child doesn't want to do what the younger child does because it's too "babyish" and vice versa. We should never have that problem. I assume we will have to deal with S not wanting to do what E wants to do because it's too "girly" but when that happens daddy and S can have some boy time.
These are my pros and cons now, a month ago they may have been different and a month from now they may change. I can say that things got much easier once E started sleeping 9 hours at night and as her schedule gets more consistent. I didn't plan to have kids so close together (my husband wanted them this close but he was hoping for 2 boys that could play on the same football team), and I don't think I would have choosen to have kids so close together but I honestly wouldn't change a thing about it now.
Friday, February 04, 2011
The Gift of Time
How often do you take the time to count your blessings? I think it's normal, and probably easier, to dwell on the negative. I know I personally forget how lucky I am for everything I've been blessed with. I dwell on how much time my husband is away for work, or on not having enough money. I dwell on not losing enough weight, or not having the latest style of clothes, or shoes. I see other women and wish I had their hair, or clothes, or could rock that headband or pair of glasses like she does. I wish my house was decorated cuter, or bigger, or cleaner. (I know I can make it cleaner but I have 2 kids under 15 months, it's not always a priority).
The reality is everyone wants things they don't have. A full time working mommy wants to spend more time with her kids and a stay-at-home-mommy wants more time to herself. We rarely look at what we have and just appreciate it. Every once and a while I just step back, look at my life and feel grateful. Even though I was laid off from my job over a year ago, and it was devastating at the time, I was given the greatest gift ever. The gift of time. Time to enjoy my beautiful babies everyday. Time to play games, and read books. Time to give S baths with lots of splashing and time to cuddle and sing to E while she falls asleep. I'm the one that gets to give E her tummy time and teach S how to eat from silverware. I GET to, not HAVE to, do all of these things. Although I don't have everything I think I want, and things don't always turn out how you plan them, I know I have everything I need. Quoting the movie Hope Floats "my cup runneth over".
The reality is everyone wants things they don't have. A full time working mommy wants to spend more time with her kids and a stay-at-home-mommy wants more time to herself. We rarely look at what we have and just appreciate it. Every once and a while I just step back, look at my life and feel grateful. Even though I was laid off from my job over a year ago, and it was devastating at the time, I was given the greatest gift ever. The gift of time. Time to enjoy my beautiful babies everyday. Time to play games, and read books. Time to give S baths with lots of splashing and time to cuddle and sing to E while she falls asleep. I'm the one that gets to give E her tummy time and teach S how to eat from silverware. I GET to, not HAVE to, do all of these things. Although I don't have everything I think I want, and things don't always turn out how you plan them, I know I have everything I need. Quoting the movie Hope Floats "my cup runneth over".
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