The past few weeks have been challenging. It started on January 2 when we all came down with a case of the stomach flu. I started getting sick that evening, S woke up covered in vomit the next morning and the hubby & E both had diarrhea. S spent several days eating toast and drinking Pedialyte, so when he started to feel better I thought he would jump at the chance of eating something else. Not so much. He would turn his head or spit out food he's been eating for months. Meal time was exhausting. I thought either he still wasn't feeling well or it was just a phase. Little did I know. He was teething. He showed no other signs or symptoms like he had with the 6 other teeth he's cut. He totally threw me for a loop.
I feel guilty about not seeing the signs, and I wonder if it's because I'm consumed with E and her needs. I know this is self assigned guilt, that no one else would ever judge me or imply I'm a bad mommy for missing the cues. Why do we believe, as mommy's, we have to do everything perfect? And if we don't, why are we so hard on ourselves? Some times I wish I could be more like my husband. That I could sit for hours holding E or playing with S and not think about everything else that should be done. (I'm sure he's able to do that because he knows I'm going to take care of all of it). I don't feel like I ever take the time to just relax. Even when I go to bed I lay there and think of everything that needs to get done the next day. It's exhausting, and I'm always tired.
So, how do I change things? How do I just enjoy "the now" and not worry about everything else? Do all mommy's feel this way? Are you able to just relax? If so, how do you do it?
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