Pros and Cons

It's not uncommon for strangers to stop me in a store and ask how old S & E are. When I answer, "they are 13.5 months apart" they look at me like I'm crazy and say "wow, you have your hands full" or "wow, you sure are busy", some form of "what the heck were you thinking?" I just nod my head and say "yes it's hard", I don't see the need to explain to them that E was not a planned pregnancy and that we were using birth control. It's really none of their business, and most people don't really care anyway.

The other day a friend asked what it is like to have 2 under 2. This got me thinking about the pros and cons of baby bunching. I do find it's easier to think of the cons at this point because they are both so young, but I'm sure in 2 years it will be much easier to think of the pros. So here it is...my top 3 pros and cons of having 2 babies under 2. This is my own personal opinion, other's may feel entirely different.

The Con's
1. My first major con is being pregnant for so long. Most women complain about being pregnant for 9 months. Just imagine what it is like to be pregnant 18 out of 24 months. My hormones were not back to normal from my pregnancy with S before I got pregnant with E. I think, because of this, I had a moderate case of PPD after E was born. It's been 2.5 months now and I am finally starting to get back to normal mentally. My body, on the other hand, is totally out of control.
2. My second con would be the day-to-day challenges. S is only 15 months old, yes he is walking and playing by himself somewhat, but he is still very dependant. I think if he was older, potty trained, eating with utensils, etc. it would be easier. At his age now he doesn't understand that mommy can't drop everything to attend to his needs, like I could before E was born. He is also very rough with her. He doesn't understand that he needs to be gentle and that he will hurt her if he crawls over her, or drops toys on her, or hits her in the head. It is impossible to leave him alone with her because of what he might do and that makes everything, even going to the bathroom, more difficult.
3. My third con is the challenge of getting them in and out of the car. When D is home things are a lot easier, but he is gone a lot so I do it by myself most of the time. Like I said above, S is walking, but he isn't at a point where I can hold his hand and he will follow along nicely. I still have to carry him to and from the car and it's not possible for me to carry a 25 pound 15 month old in one arm and a 14 pound 2.5 month old in the infant carrier at the same time. So I find myself doing things in steps. Start the car, bundle up both kids, carry S out to the car and buckle him into his car seat, then run back into the house and grab E in her carrier and put her in the car, then run back in the house and grab my diaper bag, lock the door, etc. In the time it takes me to put S in the car E is screaming because her binky fell out, or her hat is over her eyes, or she just HATES being in her carrier. It stresses me out every time we go anywhere.

The Pros.
1. The best part about having 2 under 2 is the cuddling. S got to a point around 6ish months where he didn't want to sit and cuddle anymore. He wanted to crawl and play and be active (and honestly, I don't think he has stopped moving since). I missed that stage so much, but didn't have to go long without having it back. E loves to cuddle, she snuggles her face and body into my chest and smiles and coos and falls asleep. It's just delightful and I'm hoping she won't grow out of it anytime soon.
2. Having 2 under 2 means you have A LOT of stuff. Swing, exersaucer, bumbo seat, bottles, highchair, etc. Having them so close together means I can get rid of all of that stuff once E is done using it. I don't have to pack it up and save it for years for the next baby. I am already planning the garage sale in my head...LOL
3. When they are a few years older they will be best friends. I love the thought that they will always have a built in playmate no matter where we are, neither of them will be lonely. They will be at the same stages of their lives and will want to do the same things. I can only imagine how difficult it is for families that have kids several years apart. The older child doesn't want to do what the younger child does because it's too "babyish" and vice versa. We should never have that problem. I assume we will have to deal with S not wanting to do what E wants to do because it's too "girly" but when that happens daddy and S can have some boy time.

These are my pros and cons now, a month ago they may have been different and a month from now they may change. I can say that things got much easier once E started sleeping 9 hours at night and as her schedule gets more consistent. I didn't plan to have kids so close together (my husband wanted them this close but he was hoping for 2 boys that could play on the same football team), and I don't think I would have choosen to have kids so close together but I honestly wouldn't change a thing about it now.